Love or Protection
by xDelicatehauntingx
Summary: Haru walks in on Tokaku, they have admitted to being more than friends but now they take it to the next level. Warning: Self-harm, violence, girl on girl.


There was nothing I could do anymore. I was falling into complete darkness, grasping desperately at the air, seeking something that wasn't present. It never would be. After all, I'm an assassin that fell in love with her target. I would forever fall, fall for her, she is…well she is pure, despite her past. She was an idiot, a beautifully happy idiot. I would do anything to keep her that way. But what if I can't do it? What if I can't protect her from the other assassin? A dark hatred, a distaste washed over me. I should kill them, all of them before they can take her from me. I smirked as began dragging the small knife along my pale flesh. Crimson bloomed upon my wrist, slowly flowing down in thick rivers. I bit down, chewing on my soft bottom lip, biting into it, and another stream flourished, a warm heat upon snowy skin. Small splotches were evident on the carpet below me; luckily cleaning up blood was something I was trained to do.

Hn, I'm probably the worst assassin ever. I'm protecting my target and wounding myself. Ridicules, I get injured enough while fighting for her, I probably don't have much blood to spare. Regardless, watching the rivers flow calmed me, it coaxed away the anxiety. It was amusing to watch the blood make a perfect trail along my flesh, I never cut too deep. After all I can't lose too much blood; I need my strength to protect her. I cut just enough to make me wince, and smile, not enough to touch anything vital. After all, I didn't want death; I just needed to stay calm.

I glanced at the door as there was a gentle knocking; I pulled my white sheets up, and put the blade under my pillow. Directly after that she bounced her way into our shared room. Her hair was still in usual pigtails; she was smiling a smile that made my stomach churn with sorrowful hatred, not for her but for myself. Somehow our relationship has blossomed past the point of friendship. I was pretty sure she was well aware of what I had just been doing.

"Tokaku-san….I know what you were doing" She was mocking me, wasn't she? Of course she knows about this. Our uniforms are short sleeved after all. Her head tilted to the side, even in the dark I could see her eyes were filled with concern. I forced my eyes shut and lay down on my side to avoid getting blood on the mattress.

"No," I said coldly as she started to approach my bed."I wasn't doing anything."I don't really know why I deny it; I suppose I just don't want it to be her problem. I looked up at her as she begins to speak. "Oh..." She was nervously trying to avoiding my eyes, scuffing her foot upon the ground, as she slowly made her way on to my bed.

I stared darkly into her eyes, trying to figure out why she was laying down next to me. Just because we started dating doesn't mean she can invade my space. At that moment she starts pulling my face to hers, a smile curved on her plump lips, "What do you think you're doing?" Its obvious what she's trying to do but I couldn't stop myself from asking. My life would be so much easier if I just did my job and killed her. If I didn't love her I wouldn't have to worry about all the girls trying to kill her.

She flinched and I silently prayed I didn't say that out loud. Her mouth fell open as she searched for an explanation. Her eyes were wide, and then she narrowed them, leaning close. Her lips were an inch from mine, and her sweet breath drove me wild, intoxicating, almost as irresistible as her deep, soft rose colored eyes. She stared deeply and reached for my mutilated wrist. Her small fingers began tracing over the fresh lacerations. Her voice was soft, just above a whisper. "I can help." I smirked. She was so naïve, it's adorable. My voice came out in its usual calm tone. "I don't need help."

"You're wrong," She murmured huskily in my ear. My nails dug into the sheets, I pushed her onto her back, pinning her. My hands began to move on their own tracing the scars that littered her body. She was covered in far more scars than I was; it was irritating to know someone besides me marked her. I was overwhelmed with the desire to cover up her scars with marks of my own .I needed to mark her; I needed to show the other assassins that she was mine. They can't hurt her, only I can mark her precious skin.

I lean down and bite the exposed flesh just above her collar bone. She cried out, but I can still fell her eyes on me. You're mine, only I can touch you, you're all mine, only I can have you, I smiled as my body fell against hers, heavy, pushing her against the bed. I inhaled her aroma, as alluring as a freshly bloomed flower, I closed my eyes, "I'm telling you," I whispered, raising my hand up to her cheek. "That I'm all right, you're the one in danger." I slowly start unbuttoning her shirt since she hasn't protested as of yet. She said not a word as I continue to leave an array of bruises down her chest.

I slid my hand under the pillow my blood was strangely hot as I clutched the knife, a little blade, in my hand. It was still warm from former use, there was still thick red splotches on it from its lack of cleaning. I glanced at it with weary eyes, then wiped the sharp edge off on my crisp white uniform shirt. A smear of red crossed my chest. Haru had withered visibly, fright mixed with lust now visible in her eyes. I slide the knife down her torso, successfully getting rid of the remaining buttons. However, her uniform still covers her lovely skin, I continue to slice away the rest of her uniform glancing up occasionally to see that the fear has left her eyes and all that is left is the lust.

"I'm the one helping you, protecting you. If you really wanted to help you wouldn't talk to the other girls." I spoke in calmly, smoothly, coldly, and she shivered from my tone, and curled herself into me. Sometimes I wonder if she started this just because she felt like she owed me for being her guard dog.

Her hands began sliding up my thighs, rubbing in small circles. A trembled tore its way down my spine, and I ran my fingers through my short hair. "I think I should punish you." She said nothing, just trembled with fright. "Maybe then you'll learn to behave."

"I just want to make friends" She muttered after a long moment of silence, and a shrill shriek ripped apart her throat as I leapt upon her. It was so hot, my blood,or maybe hers. My nails ripped at exposed skin, raw flesh peeled away beneath sharp manicured nails, and her eyes flashed with fear and pain, and my heart raced at the sight of her struggling. My blood grew hotter as she pushed at me, and I groaned with desire as her hands clawed into my back. We both have come to love pain, a constant reminder that we are still alive. It reminds us that we are winning this fight. I clutched her hip tightly with one hand while caressing her naked form with the cool edge of the knife.

She cried a lot, and I laughed a lot. And her heart was pounding against my chest, and her eyes were wet with tears, so were her cheeks. Haru cried and I kissed her mouth hard, I didn't want to see her cry anymore. Her sobs were muffled and as tongue met tongue, her cries of despair and pain and fright turned to excitement and pure desire. I could feel my own heartbeat in my ears, pounding hard, and I suddenly remembered the thing I had in my hand.

I hesitated, I had never cut her before, and as the blade shot out, and pale skin peeled apart willingly, and erupted with crimson, she stared crying all over again. I watched the rivers bloom in a sick fascination, when I grew them on others, I found them to be much more beautiful. I was sure not strike any vital parts, not to cut too deep, because I didn't want death, I wanted her to accept the pain, and love it as I did. She understood the meaning behind our shared pain. Her glassy eyes reflected acceptance along with a smoky hint of lust.

"I love you Tokaku-san."

How foolish! Telling someone hired to kill her she loved them. She really needed to learn to behave, I grabbed her hair, and pressed the knife to her neck, and I breathed in her scent, and I offered her death. The death I was supposed to deliver.

"You should know better." I dug the dagger part of the way into her neck, and red slid deliciously down her skin, and I licked my lips. Her words sounded nice on her lips, I decided, and my lips curled with delight as I realized that. Even as the blade left thin trails of blood she had the nerve to continue talking.

"I trust you."

"YOU SHOULDN'T" I screamed, clutching my head and falling away, "I'M SUPPOSE TO KILL YOU! EVERYONE HERE IS SUPPOSE TO ASSAINATE YOU. WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!?" The knife flashed in the air, and Haru smacked me hard across the wrist, the pocketknife ran across the ground, and I could only stare. "You're so stupid." I whispered, as her lips claimed mine, and I was falling once again, this time, into something unfamiliar, and somewhat warm. Dark, yet warm...

She was beautiful, as she took my face in her hands, and pressed her body against mine. Her breath grew harsh. I groaned, and I clutched her hair in my hands, and bit at her neck hungrily. Even if she was faking this for protection, I was willing to pretend, I was willing to because I desired her more than anything in the world and I loved her. I gripped her back, my tongue desperately pushing against hers, pushing for proof this was actually happening. She was on her back as I held her and we collapsed on my bed, kissing hard, teeth clacking together, her cheeks were crimson, her eyes hot and wild. I slid my hand down her back, moving it slowly, sliding them up her stomach to grip at her breasts.

"Not yet," She murmured in a shy tone that made the animal in me go wild and want to tear into her, between her thighs, devour her. "I want to feel you more" She slides her fingers deliciously in my hair, gazing deeply into my eyes, "I want to hear you say that you love me too." My heart pounded hard at that moment, against my chest, threatening to break free. Did she hear my heartbeat, did she feel it as my breasts pressed against hers? I said nothing for a very long moment, staring…my eyes narrow. I leaned in for a kiss. She accepted my lips willingly, and I trembled. I nodded slowly, chewing her plump glossy bottom lip as I pulled away, flushed, hot.

She smiled happily, wrapping her arms around my neck, "Take your time." She whispered, my spine stiffened, and I girt my teeth. I glared into her soft gaze.

"Why would I say that?"I demanded, my eyes narrowed and I gripped her chin in my hand. She flinched in sudden pain, "Why would you want me to say that?" I whispered in her ear shakily. "I could just be using this too catch you off guard. Maybe I wanted to cut you open, and claim my reward for assassinating you."I smirked and clutched her chin harder, tears entered her eyes again. "Why should I tell you something you already know…" I murmured, she shook with delight

"You don't love me."

"I do!"

"You don't god dammit! YOU JUST NEED ME TO PROTECT YOU!" I snapped, pulling at my hair in complete frustration.

" Tokaku-san! I do, why that is so hard to believe!? Why else would I want to help with your cutting?"

"Who can love someone like me," I shouted, "I like to hurt people Haru . . . do you understand how much I want to hurt you? I don't want to kill you, but I still need to hurt you my love," I whispered harshly, "I like watching your face contort in pain, I love it!. And I'm possessive; I don't want you even looking at anyone but me! It makes me jealous, angry, depressed, now do you understand why I don't believe you?" There was an uncomfortable, chilled silence. Her eyes glaring at me and mine back at her. Then she licked her lips, wrapped her legs around my waist and flipped me onto my back, straddling me.

"There are ways we can make that pleasurable for both of us," Haru teased, "You can hurt me. You can hit me when I make you jealous, you can be as rough as you want, but when it gets to be too much, we'll have a safe word." My stomach twisted with rage, why was she doing this? "Don't try to push me away now that you have me Tokaku-san," She kissed my lips, "I-love-you." Between each break in her speech, she gave me another kiss. Her words rolled affectionately, teasingly, off her little pink tongue. I looked away.

"You want that kind of relationship with me," I asked after a moment, cautiously. She nodded, pushing her soft breasts to my arm, I hesitated. Did Haru really want this? Did she really want me for more than protection? I asked myself over and over again, and when no answer came, I finally just nodded. I was going to hurt her then. "The safe word, what will it be?"

"Hmmm, how about…pirate," She inquired. A smile touched my lips.

"Alright…pirate it is. If you're going to be in a relationship with me, I'm telling you this now. You will be at my beck and call, am I understood? If I want you to skip class then you will," I said as calmly as I could. But my body was stiff with anticipation, the idea of abusing her, and feeling her embrace, I could barely stop myself from jumping her right then and there. "Don't worry, I won't, but you understand?"

"Of course Tokaku-san, but don't expect me to call you Mistress or anything, okay?"

"Okay."

"Hey Tokaku-san," She murmured, and her arms wrapped around my waist, and her lips grazed mine, "I'll dress up for you, would you like that?" My breath caught . . . the idea of her cosplaying for me causing a spike of arousal to shoot through my gut hard. My thighs grew moist as I nodded quickly, "Alright then. I'll take good care of Tokaku-san."

I said nothing, I could only wonder if this was actually happening, or if I was hallucinating.

I hoped I wasn't hallucinating.

She slept with me in my bed. Wrapped in my arms, I felt no desire to inflict pain, only clutch her tighter. She was warm, I realized as I held her, and her breasts were soft, and her breath was sweet. I knew all this of course, beforehand, however . . . I found her to be far more enticing at the moment than I usually did. I had my face in her neck, she had her own arms around me as well, I was shocked at how thin her waist was, and how delicious the scent of her hair was.

What was that smell…some kind of flower?

I closed my eyes, and just like that I had her below me, and I was between her thighs, and she was tugging viciously at my blue hair, as I devoured her whole. My eyes shot open, my cheeks burned, along with the area between my thighs. Every time I closed my eyes, she was in my mind, and I was making love to her.

Her dark eyes flickered open, she smiled at me lovingly. "I can't sleep," She mumbled sleepily. I flushed at how cute she sounded. She couldn't fall asleep but I know she wasn't grappling with her desire as I was…

"I can't either," I admitted, "Probably for a different reason," I flipped over onto my back, crossing my arms behind my head and staring at the ceiling. She straddled my waist, gazing down at me. She was blushing. I gripped her by the hair, and kissed her hard, our tongues met again, "Maybe I'm wrong."

"I can't stop thinking about you. It's the same every night."

Was she speaking the truth? Did she seriously go through what I went through every night? I had no idea. But I pretended to believe her as we continued to kiss; I slid my eyes down her delicious body, trailing them down to the edge of her nightshirt, right above the line of her panties. She insisted on wearing one of my only t-shirts and panties, she said since she was my girlfriend, she had to have some of my clothes. It hung down to her upper thighs, but I could clearly see her panties. Pink, made out of lace, tight, soft I imagined. To my surprise and excitement, the pink material was darker than it should be, wet, and I gazed into Haru's eyes with pure lust.

Not yet, her voice sounded in my head, she had said that earlier hadn't she? I swallowed hard. She flushed, and looked away. I took that as permission, I wanted to give her release. I set her on her back gently; I was going to make love to her with my mouth, make her feel good. My cheeks felt hot, this was so incredible . . . I was actually going to pleasure her. I was going to be between her thighs, I was going to eat her!

She was sweet. Her voice was soft, she called my name gentle. Slow. She whimpered, begging for faster. I pushed her legs apart, went deeper, wanting to taste more of her. Louder now. I went faster as she continued to beg, it was music. I liked it. A lot. Deeper, I grazed her belly with my fingers, then the little bundle on nerves above her innocence, and then deeper again. A short scream, a series of gasps. Wetter now, she was dripping in my mouth, down my chin. I didn't let it waste, and gripped one leg, pushing it up, forcing myself farther within. Her underwear made it torture I bet.

The damp cloth, pushing deep, inside her, never quite reaching her special spot. She gripped my head between her thighs. I rubbed her gently with a single finger, she fell over the edge, and came screaming my name, holding her head in her hands, eyes wide, her back made a delicious arc. Then, she was done. But I wanted more. I slid her panties off, moist . . . I had still tasted all her juices, and as I pulled them off fully, I ducked back down to lap up the rest. I smirked when I finished, sniffing the soaked cloth.

"D . . . don't do that," She muttered in embarrassment, smacking it out of my hands. I blinked in slight surprise. Then laughed softly. She was adorably embarrassed; I found it far too cute. I swept her into my arms, and held her close. I set my lips on hers, and stroked her hair lightly. She whispered my name as we kissed; I held her waist with one hand, held her against me. Trapped her, she was in a cage now. I remembered how she said she belonged to me, I liked that, and I wanted her to stay by my side for however long possible. The fact that I was dating an angel like her was difficult to believe.

"Alright," I tossed them aside, "We'll stop there tonight; we've already done more than you wanted to."

She blushed lightly, "Are you Tokaku-san? I mean, if you want to do more-"I kissed her again.

"I'm gonna need longer than a night for the things I'm going to do to you," I whispered, nipping her neck. She giggled.

This was music to my ears as well. She was so perfect and lovely. I cupped her cheek, held her closer to me, "You're tired, let's try to get some sleep." She nodded, and curled up in my arms once again. This time, I was able to rest fitfully.

Waking up next to her, knowing that she wanted to be with me was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Her face was buried in my neck, her breathing slow and peaceful. She was drooling a bit. I smiled, and ran my fingers through her hair lightly, softly. She mumbled sleepily, gripping my shirt in her hands and snuggling close to my body. "Warm," She yawned. "Morning Tokaku-san."

" Tokaku-san" She curled into me, her lips pressed lightly to mine, I slid my arms around her neck and pulled her harder against me, her breasts were bigger than mine as ours pressed together. I leaned down and ran soft loving kisses down her throat. " Tokaku-san, we have to go to school~" Even though she said this, her voice was pleading for me to continue.

"We have time," I responded softly. "I'll finish in a second," I slid my tongue against her warm skin, nibbled with my teeth. Like I promised I was done in only a few seconds. When I pulled away there was a red mark, I licked my lips with a smug smirk. "There," I said softly, "now you're officially mine."

She blinked "Tokaku-san,I could get in trouble!"

"Use make-up to cover it up." I said offhandedly, slipping away from my bed to get changed. She watched me intently, for some reason that made me embarrassed as I took my clothes off. She blushed crimson when she saw my panties, red and lace.

"Wow, I didn't know you wore stuff like that!"

I cocked my head, "Haha, what do you mean? Like lace? Yeah, I do," I slipped on my uniform skirt, removing the top blouse from a hanger and pulling it on. She watched me with her face in her hands, elbows propping her head up. I buttoned it up, a bit unnerved. "What are you staring at Haru," I asked softly.

"My gorgeous girlfriend," She teased, my cheeks burned all of a sudden with blissful warmth. I looked away in embarrassment and coughed, before tying my bow around my neck quickly, and practically fleeing from the room. Laughter peeled out after me, meaning she found my embarrassment very amusing.


End file.
